6 Ways to Move On…After Losing Out On A Home

When you saw it, you just knew it was the on. You had big plans for the two of you. You thought you would grow old together.. 

But then your offer on the house didn’t get selected, or the deal fell through. Either way, you lost. You won’t be buying your dream home. You won’t be cooking in the sleek and modern kitchen or planting bulbs in the perfectly fenced back yard. Here you sit, in the same space you wanted to leave last year, just wallowing.

Losing out on a house you wanted feels like real heartbreak. It’s the equivalent of being ghosted right when you built up the courage to say I love you. Don’t worry, we are here to help get you through this tough time, with the help of this sage advice about moving on after you’ve lost the home you loved. 

FEEL ALL THE FEELS

We’ve all been there in a relationship. You had the one you “loved” everything was great, until it wasn’t. You aren’t quite sure what you said or did, but that love is gone, and so is the one you had it for. It’s the same when you lose out on your dream home. So, go on, feel all those feels. Feel the disappointment, frustration, and the empty feeling of what might have been. Don’t pretend it’s no big deal. Don’t tell yourself it was just a house. Cry it out. Find a punching bag. Sign up for that kickboxing class you’ve been meaning to try. It’s ok. Your feelings are legit. You can even allow yourself to lie in the fetal position and binge your favorite home show. But don’t stay down there too long. Be sure to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back out on the hunt. 

TAKE SOME TIME

What was the one thing you wanted to do while working to buy a home, but didn’t? Were you saving every spare penny, Never left town because you were fearful you may miss out on a hot listing? It’s time for a vaycay! Do it! Treat yourself. You will get a house that’s perfect for you at some point, but you need to get out of your head. 

STOP REMINDING YOURSELF 

Refrain from pulling the listing up and refreshing it constantly hoping that the status will change. Don’t drive by to check out the yard sign or see if there is a moving truck in the driveway. Be sure to remove it from your favorites list so you don’t see it every time you log on. Stop obsessing over what might have been. 

REFOCUS YOUR ENERGY

It is easy to attach yourself to any dream that resembles a needed change. So, if the house didn’t work out, try to change your life in other ways. Call friends to hang out. Try something new… a work out class, a new restaurant, any of the random events on Groupon. Maybe even think about finding a new Realtor. One who knows the market well enough to potentially avoid this happening again. An agent who would pick up the phone and do their due diligence and politely interrogate the listing agent for what the seller really wants before crafting and submitting an offer. 

CONSIDER THIS A TEACHABLE MOMENT

It’s ok to be angry. But you should use every ended relationship as a learning moment. Look back at what worked, and what didn’t with the home buying process. What might help you have a better chance at scoring the next one? And be honest. Did you go too low? Ask for too much help? Not write a letter to the seller to include with your offer telling them your dreams for their home. Soak it all in, and grow from the experience so you are ready for next time. 

GET BACK OUT THERE

After every storm there is sun again. When you are feeling ready, get back out there and test the waters again. Whether it’s setting up a new search, attending an open house, you deserve to try again. Keep an open mind, and know that not every house has to be perfect for you to look at it. Touring homes that may not check all the boxes could lead you to finding the one that is just right for you. Who knows...you may even find one you like more than the one you lost. (wishful thinking?)

If you are in the market for a new home, or a new Realtor, it’s important to work with an experienced professional. We should connect.